Attitude Adjustment/Lifestyle Change

Wednesday January 9, 2013: First of all, I need to apologize that I didn't blog yesterday. I would like to say that my mom raised me on the saying that "if you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all" and after the football game on Monday night, I am sure I could have had plenty to say yesterday. But unfortunately for me, that wasn't the case....I just flat out forgot to type down some random thoughts. Some of you know me pretty well, and some of you don't. Some of you pay attention to my Facebook status updates, and some of you don't, and that's totally cool with me, because chances are, I don't notice all of your updates either. Anyways, my point to that is this. A few months back I found myself going through some things emotionally that were really bringing me down, and making me really depressed. The root of the depression wasn't really something that I could control, but I really let it get to me. I would be totally fine, then out of the blue....BAM!!!! I am down in the dumps, and ready to do something stupid. While the thought crossed my mind on occasion to do stupid things, deep down I knew that I enjoyed life too much, I loved my daughter and my family too much, and I had too much to live for to go out and actually do something stupid. So bottom line was something needed to be done. I needed an attitude adjustment. What I did, and what I got was more of a life adjustment, a lifestyle change, and clearly an attitude adjustment. You see, I had so much negativity in my head, so many bad vibes going on in my soul that I needed to "clean house". It all started with venting and expressing the thoughts and feelings that were being stored throughout my heart, mind, and soul. Once I was able to get those things expressed and off my mind it was a huge relief, BUT then I needed to find something else to fill that void that was just created. I decided that it was time for me to "get healthy". I didn't mean just physically, but mentally as well. I knew that if I started with the physical health that the mental health would follow suit, but it was going to take some work. I attended an Herbalife shake party that a friend of mine was hosting hoping that maybe I would find an avenue that I could take to help get me on track physically. I actually knew going in to the party that if I liked the product I was willing to give it 30-days to see if it helped me as I was searching for something, something to help me any way that it could. Here we are a little over 30-days later I have dropped over 8 pounds (without exercise) but more importantly my body is feeling wonderful. I used to come home from work and take naps every day because I was completely exhausted, but that isn't the case anymore. I am actually starting to feel like I am getting my life back....at least physically. I'm so happy with the way things have gone, that I am actually an Herbalife Independent Distributor now (so if you need help with getting healthy just let me know). #shamelessplug:) So with the physical side of things starting to be under control I still needed to work on the mental and emotional side of things. Honestly, believe it or not, this hasn't been quite as tough for me as the physical side of things. I talked to my Pastor at church a little bit, and we are using Bible verses to focus on when things aren't going our way, and that has helped....but I think more than anything I flushed my brain of all the negative thinking, of all the worthless worry, and of all the things that I couldn't control. I decided that I'm a good person, and damn it I'm going to be happy and I am not going to let anything have any power over me anymore. I wasn't going to let any person hold any power over me, or be in control of my situations anymore. I was going to take back my life, and be in control of my own destiny if you will. I was going to do things for myself, and not for anyone else. Honestly, it's not been ANY ONE THING that I can point to....I've had help. I've had the support of friends, I've had support from family, I've had my faith, I've gotten healthy, both physically and mentally. But I've put myself in control over the things that I can control, I've put God in charge of the things that I can't. I've focused my attention on getting healthy physically, and it has flowed over into my thinking, into my emotions, and into every aspect of my life. Are all of my days good? NO....but the good days outweigh the bad days 5 to 1 anymore (if not better). So I've changed my eating habits, my thought processes, my ideas of control, and my perspective on every day activities.......and what I've gotten from it is a healthier body, a healthier heart, mind and soul, a new found respect for myself, my friends, and my family and more importantly than any of those things.....a new lease on life with a new attitude towards myself, towards God and His Word, and a new perspective about everything. All because I realized that if I wanted something to change about my life, I NEEDED TO BE THE ONE TO CHANGE IT, and if that meant stepping up and putting myself out there to get help, then so be it. A month into this whole new me.....I don't regret a single thing, and so far things are going well..... but don't stop praying for me either.